


To Mend My Broken Wings

by stargatefan_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Smarm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-06
Updated: 2004-12-06
Packaged: 2018-10-06 22:07:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10345545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargatefan_archivist/pseuds/stargatefan_archivist
Summary: SPOILERS: This is a sequel to " Silently Broken".SUMMARY: After rescuing Daniel, can Jack help him put the nightmare behind him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Yuma, the archivist: this work was originally archived at [Stargatefan.com](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Stargatefan.com). To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [StargateFan Archive Collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/StargateFan_Archive_Collection).

Stargate SG-1 FanFiction - To Mend My Broken Wings

Category: Hurt/Comfort, Smarm, Angst 

In loneliness, in sickness, in confusion   
the mere knowledge of friendship   
makes it possible to endure,   
even if the friend is powerless to help.   
It is enough that they exist.   
Friendship is not diminished   
by distance or time,   
by imprisonment or war,   
by suffering or silence.   
It is in these things that it roots most deeply.   
It is from these things that it thrives.   
(author unknown) 

~~~~~~

Jack felt, even before he saw, Daniel's eyes watching him. He called out for Dr. Frazier and then leaned closer and smiled, 

"Hey Daniel. Don't try to talk, Frazier's coming."

Daniel's eyes were filled with terror and he started thrashing around on the bed. Jack held his shoulders as well as he could but he was afraid he might hurt him.

Dr. Frazier and Nurse Philips ran into the room. "Try to hold him Colonel while I talk to him. I don't want to have to sedate him."

Dr. Frazier laid her hand gently on Daniel's forehead and looked into his eyes,

"Daniel, try to stay calm. You have a tube down your throat to help you breathe. We can take it out now if you can relax, okay?" Daniel still looked terrified but wasn't fighting as hard.

Dr. Frazier started peeling away the tape from the tube. " Daniel, I want you to take some deep breaths and when I say blow, I want you to blow as hard as you can, Okay? Now, take some deeps breaths Daniel.... that's good....now.. blow." She had the long tube out in one smooth movement, and Daniel coughed.

"Your throat will be a little sore. Open your mouth and I'll give you some ice chips." Janet spooned a little into his mouth. He let them melt and cool his throat looking up at Dr. Frazier with eyes that threatened to break her heart.

Jack still had one hand on Daniel's shoulder, almost afraid to let him go.

Daniel looked up at Jack and blinked a few times, trying to clear his vision, and finally he spoke so softly that Jack could barely hear, "Ja' k?.....................r....r..eal?"A tear started to trickle slowly down Daniel's face.

Jack took Daniel's hand and held it securely. He felt him try to grip it but he was still very weak. He looked at Daniel as his own tears were escaping down his face. 

"Yes Danny, its me Jack.....and yes............Yes I'm real. It's okay, you're gonna be fine Daniel....... You're home." 

"Colonel, I need to examine Daniel. Why don't you go get something to eat? I'll call you when I'm done."

Jack didn't want to leave, but to be honest he really needed to get himself together. He hadn't realized it, but his hand was trembling as it held Daniel's. "Okay, doc. I'll tell the others he's awake. But I'll be back in thirty minutes." Jack said as he gave her a look that Janet knew meant he was willing to do as she'd asked, but on his terms.

She'd take what she could get, if it meant she didn't have to resort to ordering the Colonel out of the infirmary. She waited as Jack leaned down closer to Daniel's frightened face.

"Daniel, it's all right. The doc here is running me out for just a bit so she can poke and prod you some more. But I'll be back in thirty minutes," he said as he looked back up at Dr. Frazier letting her know he was giving her a half hour and not a minute longer.

Jack placed his other hand to the side of Daniel's face and giving a gentle pat as he released the cool limp hand from his. "I'll be back, Daniel. Don't give the doc here too hard a time huh?" He gave him one last smile and backed away, looking at his watch, and then at Dr. Frazier. "See ya in thirty minutes, Doc." 

~~

Daniel felt the fear growing so strong inside of him that he felt like it was smothering him. He'd tried to get his mouth to say the words that were screaming in his mind to get Jack to stay but he couldn't get his lips to move. He had tried to grip his hand but his muscles wouldn't obey. His heart was beating so loudly in his chest that his head pounded with each heartbeat. 

He watched as Dr. Frazier placed the cool stethoscope against his chest her lips moving, // was she speaking? //All he could hear was the pounding of his heart and the low buzzing of a voice. The fear was drowning him, rushing through his body like a gigantic wave. He couldn't get enough air........he felt... cold..... He blinked and tried to focus but it was like looking down into a tunnel.

~~

Dr. Frazier had gotten the Colonel's message loud and clear, but she was relieved that she hadn't had to force the issue. They'd all been through a difficult few weeks and the fact that she'd gotten the Colonel to take a break at all was a miracle. 

She put the stethoscope in her pocket and took out her penlight to check his pupils, but stopped when she saw the terror in his eyes. She put the penlight away and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Daniel?" His pupils were mere pinpoints and she could hear his breathing loud and fast. 

"Daniel. It's all right. There's nothing to be afraid of. Shhhhh...it's okay...... You're breathing too fast Daniel.........come on, try to slow down." She glanced over at the monitor beside the bed and her face grew worried as she watched his blood pressure rising and his pulse increasing. She could hear him breathing frantically as he desperately tried to draw air into his lungs too quickly for any oxygen to reach his bloodstream.

"Nancy. Get in here, quick!" Dr. Frazier called for the nurse on duty as she continued to try to calm the frightened young man. 

He felt like he was dying. His fingers were tingling and he tried to speak but his mouth was getting numb. He couldn't breathe. His heart was pounding so hard he felt like it would beat out of his chest as he gulped for air, his eyes frantically darting around the room.

"Nancy, give me 5 mg. Valium stat!" Suddenly, Daniel's eyes rolled into the back of his head as his body started convulsing.

"Nancy! Give me a hand here!" Janet yanked the side rail up on her side of the bed and then quickly went to the other side and did the same. 

"Try to keep him from hurting himself. I'll get the injection." She stepped quickly over to the cabinet and took out the bottle and syringe and began measuring out the dose.

"Doctor, he's pulled out the IV." Nurse Philips told her as she struggled to hold him away from the side rails and trying to hold his hand that was covered with a cast.

Dr. Frazier quickly stepped back to the bed, rolled him to his side and yanked down the elastic waistband. She started injecting the drug into his hip. The spasms finally started to slow and his breathing got quieter until finally he lay limp and glistening with sweat. The sheets were twisted half way to the floor and some of the electrodes had come off his chest from the EKG machine. She exchanged looks with Nurse Philips, both of them still somewhat shaken but relieved that it was over.

"Nancy, start another IV and get him hooked back up to the heart monitor." She looked down at her watch. Her thirty minutes were almost up and she was sure the Colonel would be here any minute. She held Daniel's wrist checking his pulse and studied the now calm looking face remembering the terror that she had seen in his eyes. // 'What on earth did they do to you, Daniel?' //

~~~~~~ 

Colonel O'Neill had grabbed a sandwich and coffee in the commissary and it lay in his stomach like a rock. That's what he got from almost inhaling it. 

He hurried up to General Hammond's office and told him Daniel was awake and then over to Carter's lab. She'd almost jumped out of her chair when he'd rushed into the room. Anyway, she said she'd tell Teal'c and head to the infirmary shortly. So as he strode into the antiseptic smelling room he was feeling pretty good, until he got closer to Daniel's bed. His eyes took in the blood on Daniel's arm where there used to be an IV and the sheets hanging off the bed. He glanced at the nurse when she turned around with a new IV needle to insert. Then he looked down at Daniel who looked a lot paler and sweatier and, well, a lot more unconscious than he did when he'd left him only thirty minutes ago. 

"Okay. Somebody want to tell me what happened?" he glared at her. 

"Colonel. Dr. Jackson had a seizure right after you left." Dr. Frazier said as she walked into the room after hearing the Colonel's voice. She glanced at nurse Philips who had the IV in, "Thank you Nancy. Would you tell Dr. Richards I want another EEG on Dr. Jackson?"

The nurse finished adjusting the IV, nodded at Dr. Frazier and turned and left the room. Janet could feel Colonel O'Neill's eyes boring into her. "Daniel started hyperventilating and his pulse and BP went through the roof. I had to sedate him, Colonel." Janet said as she finally met his gaze.

Jack was angry. Angry that she had sedated him, even though he knew that she must have not had a choice. Mostly he was angry at himself for not being here. He was afraid that if he opened his mouth right then he'd surely say some things he'd regret later. He leaned over Daniel and lay his hand on his cool, damp forehead.

"I'm sorry Danny. I should have been here." Jack pulled the chair up closer and sat down, taking Daniel's hand avoiding the IV and gave it a gentle squeeze." It's okay, Daniel. I'm here."

~~~~~

Sam had been holed up in her lab all night working on trying to making some sense out of the incredible amount of data and the computer memory chips that had been brought in from the underground lab where they had found Daniel. She hadn't been able to get to sleep after the scare they'd had with Daniel in the operating room, so she had wandered back to her lab. The first crate had been brought in and it had been a welcome distraction. She'd been in to see Daniel a few times but he still hadn't woke up, so she'd come back and started working on deciphering the computer system. Since Daniel wasn't able to tell them what had happened, they hoped there would be information in the computer system that would help him. Although they didn't know the details about his imprisonment, she knew enough to know that he would need all the help and support they could give him to get through this.

~~~~~ 

Jack stood up and stretched his stiff muscles. If he sat in this hard plastic chair another night he was sure he was going to have bedsores. At least he'd managed to get a few hours sleep even sitting in the torturous thing. 

He looked over at Daniel who was still staring at the ceiling. It was just too strange, watching him so quiet and still, not uttering a word. That just wasn't Daniel. He regretted every single time he had ignored him or brushed him off, or told him to shut up. What he would give for a hour long lecture on the latest artifacts.

Dr. Frazier walked into the room pausing to jot down some notes in a chart she was carrying before she handed it to the nurse. "How's our patient today, Colonel?"

She picked up Daniel's chart, reading through the notes from the night shift. "It seems you had a rough night." She glanced up at Jack, who nodded.

She stepped closer and leaned toward him, "Daniel, can you tell me how you're feeling today?" Daniel's eyes remained staring at a point on the ceiling. She took the penlight out of her pocket and shone it in both eyes checking his pupils. She patted his arm and looked up at Jack.

"Colonel, could I have a word with you?" and she nodded toward the door.

Jack followed her to the other side of the room.

"Colonel, I have to be honest with you. I'm concerned about Dr. Jackson. Except for the few words he's spoken to you, he's been mostly unresponsive."

Jack looked across the room at the still figure on the bed. "Yeah. He's been pretty quiet. It's kind of creepy. What's wrong with him, Doc?"

"He's been through a very traumatic ordeal, Colonel. I'm sure you know that something like this can make a person withdraw into themselves. Once he's able to tell us more about what happened, we'll be better equipped to help him deal with it. Until then we can't let him hide inside himself."

Jack looked back at Dr. Frazier, "What can I do?" Whatever it took to bring him back, he would do.

"Make him look at you, hear you, feel you. Anything to keep him from withdrawing." Janet could see a determination on the Colonel's face that let her know, if anyone could help Daniel, it was him.

"Okay." He would not lose Daniel again. 

"One more thing, Colonel. I'm sure you realize he's refused to eat. Since he was half starved when you found him, he can't go any longer without nourishment. I hate to say this, sir, especially with what they did to him, but I may not have a choice but to put in a feeding tube. It may be the only way to keep him alive." She could see the pain reflected in his face in what she was suggesting. She'd seen when she first examined Daniel, that he'd had a feeding tube put down his throat while he was held captive. It was not something she wanted to put him through again.

"No...don't do that to him......I'll get him to eat." 

"I can only give you 24 hours, Colonel. I can't risk putting if off any longer than that."

~~~~~

Jack walked back and stood beside Daniel. "O....kay Daniel. Starting today you're gonna eat and tomorrow you and I are going for a little walk. What do ya say about that Danny?" He didn't get any response but he patted his shoulder. "Yep. I can see you're just as excited about it as I am."

Jack picked up the newspaper someone had left, sat down and started reading bits of news to Daniel, reading the funnies, describing each scene.

Daniel stared at the off-white ceiling. He heard the low buzzing of a voice again, this voice he knew. This voice felt safe. He'd never felt so lost. But he didn't know how to find his way back from wherever he was.

His mind was a jumbled mess of thoughts that he couldn't seem to arrange in any order. He couldn't seem to make the connection from his brain to his lips. He listened to Jack's voice. Words with no meaning. But the steady rhythm of the voice made him feel safe. Maybe if he watched him say the words, he could remember how to say them too.

~~ 

Jack continued reading to Daniel. He didn't know if he really wanted to hear that particular story or not. If he didn't he guessed he would just have to speak up and say so, and how he wished he'd do just that. He looked over at Daniel and noticed that he was watching him. He kept on reading, glancing over at Daniel. He lowered the newspaper and laid it down, not taking his eyes off of him. He very slowly reached over and laid his hand on Daniel's. All the time keeping eye contact with him. Daniel never looked away, just stared at Jack. He didn't want to scare Daniel into retreating again so he very softly spoke. "Hey Daniel." Daniel kept staring at Jack until a tear started to slide down his face. Jack leaned closer. Daniel's eyes tracking his every movement. "What's wrong, Danny? Are you in pain?" Daniel's mouth said the word no, even if Jack couldn't hear it. He knew what he'd said. Then the eye contact was broken as Daniel closed his eyes and turned his head away.

~~

Dr. Frazier had been about to go in and check on Dr. Jackson when she'd heard Colonel O'Neill reading to him. She'd stepped back where she couldn't be seen and just watched them. Daniel's head was turned toward the Colonel watching him as he read. She could see that Daniel was trying to speak. Then he had closed his eyes and shut everything out once more. It was still a good sign though. At this point, small steps were better than none.

~~~~~

She was in. Finally cracking the encryption code protecting the data and memory chip files, Sam let out an excited, "Yes!" Now to try to format the information to transfer it to her computer system. She finally felt like she was making progress. She glanced at her watch. She would run down to the commissary and grab a sandwich and bring it back here so she could work through the afternoon.

~~~~~

Daniel felt a small sting on his arm that made him blink. Things were being taken off his chest and it tickled his skin. He could feel slight movements and pressures as more tubes and monitoring devices were removed from his body, then he floated back into the safety of the white ceiling.

He was only faintly aware of the buzzing voices as arms reached around him and sat him upright changing his view from the safe nothing of the ceiling to colors and lights and movement. He swayed, not used to being upright, but strong arms held him steady.

His arms were raised one at a time and cloth slid over his head and he shivered at the bareness of his chest. More cloth moved down over his head and then covered him and he was warm once more. The strong arms laid him back down and he was safe in the whiteness again. Rough hands picked up one foot and then the other as fabric was sliding over his legs and as he was moved this way and that he heard that low buzzing sound again. The voice that he knew. The voice that was safe.

"Daniel. You could help me out here a little ya know." Jack said as he slid the BDU's up over the slim hips, A zip and a snap, and finally.// This was sure a lot harder than it used to be to dress Charlie when he was sick,// Jack thought as he pulled the socks over each foot talking to Daniel the whole time. He couldn't tell if Daniel could hear him or not. Shoes laced, and Jack sat down in the chair to take a breather.// Was he crazy for doing this? Maybe. But that didn't mean he shouldn't try. And it didn't mean it wouldn't help.//

He stood up and wrapped his arm under Daniel's shoulders again and sat him up, then swung his feet over the edge of the bed. // Okay. Well at least he looks better without the hospital scrubs on.// He held onto Daniel's shoulders as he had him faced right toward him and looked into his eyes. "Daniel. You and I are gonna take a walk." Daniel's eyes seemed to go right through him unseeing and he took Daniel's hand and put it on his unshaven face. "Look at me Daniel." He slid Daniels hand over the stubble, "Can you feel me, Danny?" Jack was rewarded by Daniel's eyes briefly making contact with his own, and then they drifted past him. He patted Daniel's face. "Well, at least that's a start, I guess." 

Teal'c walked into the room up to the Colonel. "O'Neill, how can I be of assistance?" he said.

"Well, Teal'c. I talked Frazier into cutting Daniel loose from his IV's and tubes. So, you and I are gonna take him out for a little walk."

Teal'c glanced from Jack to Daniel, raising a questioning brow.

~~

Daniel felt arms wrap under his and he was suddenly stood upright, being supported on each side by strong arms. He felt the solid floor against his feet and his legs trembled with the unfamiliar feeling of trying to support his body. His legs started to fold and the strong arms were lifting him back up. The whiteness had disappeared and he could hear the buzzing voices. Again he was forced to try to keep his legs straight to hold his body up and he had to concentrate on them to keep them from folding again.

"You're doin' just fine Daniel." Jack said to him as he and Teal'c held the once limp body between them, alternately supporting him and then relaxing their grip a little to let his legs get used to standing again. 

"Daniel, we're gonna help you try taking a step or two, Okay? You're doin great." Jack and Teal'c slowly worked with Daniel until he was walking between them as they supported his body. Jack thought he'd caught a glimpse or two of Daniel actually focusing on things in the room. They sat Daniel down in the chair and Jack knelt directly in front of him looking into his eyes. "You rest for a few minutes, Daniel, then we're gonna take a walk down the hall. What do ya say?" Jack patted his shoulder. He noticed the sweat glistening on Daniel's face from the exertion.

~~ 

Janet sat in her office still staring at the chart. She had started out at Cheyenne Mountain determined to not allow herself to become emotionally attached to any of her patients. Not wanting to get too close to the many people on the base most of whom she would eventually see in the infirmary. More times than not, only minor injuries and complaints or just regular check-ups. But somehow SG-1 had gotten past the walls she'd had in place. 

She had worried right along with the rest of the base when Dr. Jackson had been abducted. Had tried desperately to hold onto the hope that he would be found, alive and in one piece. And had agonized on the trip back from rescuing him, fearing that they might have found him too late. Seeing that,.... memory device attached to his head when they'd found him was shocking, but she had kept it together.

But here she was again, agonizing over what would be best for Dr. Jackson. She just couldn't look at the members of SG-1 as 'just another case.' The last thing she wanted was to have to put in the feeding tube. And there was also the very real possibility that she would have no choice but to send Dr. Jackson to the base hospital if his condition didn't improve. They had good people working there, but it was still impossible for them to give any one patient the time and attention and care that she wanted Daniel to have. She had to hand it to the Colonel though. He was trying hard to get his best friend and team member back.

She had been pleasantly surprised when she'd seen Jack and Daniel walking down the hall and back. True. Daniel wasn't exactly walking by himself. Jack had his arm around his shoulders and had a hold of his belt loop helping keep him upright all the way, but he was still out of the bed and out of the infirmary.

She closed the folder and set it aside. It had been a long day, but then it seemed they all were. She turned off the light and locked the door. Grabbing her jacket, she started out but glanced in the direction of where Daniel lay and stopped.

Daniel was sitting up against some pillows and Colonel O'Neill was talking to him and every few minutes he placed a spoonful of food at Daniel's lips and he would tap his lips a little with the spoon and he opened his mouth and ate. Daniel was eating. // 'Well, I'll be. He's actually getting him to eat.' // She stepped back to watch for just a minute more smiling to herself, feeling better than she'd felt in days. 

~~~~~

General Hammond stood in the doorway to Sam's lab, "Major, have you made any progress on the items brought back from the lab?"

Sam turned around upon hearing him. "General, I've at least gotten into the system. The files are protected by an encrypted code of some sort. I'm working on it sir."

"Good, Major. Keep me posted." 

~~~~~

Daniel was waiting for Jack to get back from the bathroom so they could go on their walk up and down the corridors on the infirmary floor. He would rather just stay in his room but Jack wouldn't hear of it. 

"Ready Daniel?" Jack asked. 

"Sure, I guess..." He replied.

"Just try to contain your enthusiasm Daniel okay?"

Jack made sure to give Daniel some space, but stayed close enough to grab him if he started to weave as they slowly walked down one corridor. He was still a little unsteady at times but he kept his hand that didn't have the cast on, close to the wall in case he needed to steady himself. At least Daniel was now able to walk without Jack holding him up. They'd gotten some rather odd stares from people who passed them in the hall, until they'd seen who it was. The entire base knew about Daniel's abduction and subsequent rescue. They had been walking a couple of times a day like this for the past several days. He had even managed somehow to get Daniel to eat. He didn't eat a lot but hey, it was a start.

Jack stopped in front of the elevator and pushed the button. "Where are we going?" Daniel asked nervously.

"I thought we'd go up top, get some fresh air," Jack replied.

Daniel didn't know why but the idea of getting into that closed in space made him nervous. The doors slid open with a 'ding' and Jack stepped in, holding the door.

Daniel eyed the small space anxiously and glanced at Jack.

"Daniel? You coming?" Jack said. Then he saw the paling face, fear-filled eyes and the rapid breathing, afraid that he was looking at a panic attack in the making. He quickly stepped out of the elevator and placed his hands on Daniel's shoulders trying to make eye contact.

"Daniel? You with me?...........Danny?"

Daniel slowly moved his eyes to meet Jack's and tried to stay focused on them. 

"Ja..ck?"

"Come on." Jack steered Daniel a few feet down the hall to an empty room. He opened the door and made sure it was unoccupied. He led him into it, shut the door and turned back and looked at him. 

"Daniel. Listen to me. We are not going in the elevator today. Only when you're ready, okay?" 

Daniel slowly nodded his head. 

"You okay now to take a walk? On just this floor? No elevator?"

"Ok....Jack."

Jack patted Daniel's shoulder and led him out for a walk.

~~~~~

Dr. Frazier walked up to the empty bed just as Colonel O'Neill and Dr. Jackson walked back into the infirmary. She noticed Daniel was walking better although he did look a little flushed from their latest jaunt.

Daniel walked over to his bed and crawled into it and lay down on his side. 

"Daniel, how are you feeling today?" she asked.

"Fine." 

She wasn't surprised to hear his usual reply. He didn't talk to anyone much unless asked a direct question. Except for the Colonel. Even then, at times, he looked a million miles away. She had been concerned that Daniel was trying to shut himself off from everything and everyone. If Colonel O'Neill didn't, several times a day, take Daniel down the corridors to walk, she guessed he wouldn't get out of bed at all.

He talked to Daniel, read to him, asked him questions. Continually pulling him back out of the protected cocoon he was trying hide in. To see the lengths the Colonel was going to made her more hopeful about his recovery. He still would not eat unless the Colonel was right there coaxing him to take one bite and then another, but at least he was eating.

She took out her penlight and shown it in each eye. 

"Any headaches, dizziness?" she inquired.

"No." 

She glanced at Colonel O'Neill who just shrugged his shoulders. It did seem odd to hear Daniel with so little to say.

"When can I go home?"

~~~~~ 

Sam was on her way to the General's office with good news for a change. She hadn't realized just how many times she had had gone to his office only to give or be given bad news of some sort. 

"Major. What can I do for you?" General Hammond asked.

"Well, actually sir I'm here about the computer data I've been trying to decipher. I think I have it, or at least part of it. Each section is encrypted with a different code. But I'm downloading quite a bit of data right now that should be done this evening." Sam said, smiling. She was so relieved that she'd finally gotten into the system. Maybe now they could find out what had happened to Daniel since he hadn't been able to tell them anything.

General Hammond smiled up at her. "That is good news, Major. Let me know when it's ready and I'll schedule a briefing."

~~~~~ 

Daniel had to get out of this mountain soon or he was going to go nuts. For the past few days it felt like the walls were getting closer and the air stuffier. 

He tried so hard to do what he thought they wanted him to. He was trying to eat better, tried to answer their questions. Except when they asked about 'that' place. He didn't remember anything about being there. It was like those two weeks were erased from his mind. It wouldn't be the first time. After all he'd had nearly a year of his memories erased.

He just wanted to go home. He wanted to be where no one was constantly looking at him, or talking to him, or poking and prodding him. He just wanted to be left alone. He hadn't said anything to anyone about the headaches he'd been having every day. They were different than most other headaches he'd had. The continuous sharp pain in the back of his head made it hard to concentrate. If he told them about the headaches though, he was afraid he would never get out of the infirmary.

~~~~~

"Dr. Frazier. You wanted to discuss releasing Dr. Jackson?" 

"Yes, General. Dr. Jackson has asked me several times about when he can be released. I wanted to run it past all of you first." Janet opened the medical file in front of her and started looking through her notes.

"It's been almost two weeks since Dr. Jackson was found and brought back to the base. Frankly, sir, he's doing much better that expected. His broken hand is healing nicely. He shouldn't have any problem with it except he may need some short term physical therapy after the cast comes off.

The levels in his blood of the hallucinogenic drug has been steadily decreasing, so he won't have to have dialysis to rid his body of it. When he was brought in he was severely dehydrated, but the IV fluids he's been given has taken care of that.

I've repeated most of the tests, his EKG and EEG both look good. He's not had another seizure. Physically, he still needs rest, mild exercise and the proper nourishment so he can build up his strength, but, medically speaking I have no reason not to release him." 

She closed the chart and folded her hands together, taking in the expectant faces around the table. "Although he is improving, he is still having nightmares. I've been trying to adjust the dose on his meds and that has helped. He shows signs of depression and anxiety. He doesn't normally initiate conversation, keeps his responses to questions to as few words as possible. He has not spoken about the abduction or the time he was held captive. When questioned he seems to have no memory of those two weeks. I would recommend that at some point he have some counseling." 

"Janet, don't you think we need to know more about what happened to Daniel before we let him go home?" Sam said.

"General, should Daniel even be going back to that apartment at all right now?" Colonel O'Neill interrupted, "I mean, who knows if more of those goons are out there waiting for just that, so they can grab him again."

"I understand both of your concerns," the General said as he looked at Sam and Jack, "First of all, I don't see that it's necessary to know everything that went on during those two weeks before he is released. If something comes up we can always bring him back to the infirmary. Secondly, Colonel, you're right about him going back to his apartment. I don't feel it is safe just yet but I can't very well put guards at his door. Dr. Jackson could stay in one of the VIP rooms for now."

"He can stay with me, General. It's not like he hasn't stayed at my place before." 

"Very well, Colonel. Dr. Frazier, if Dr. Jackson is to be released from the infirmary, it's with the understanding that he stay at Colonel O'Neill's until further notice."

Jack got up and started for the door but was stopped by Dr. Frazier.

"Colonel, I know how you feel about the mental health profession, but I really do think Daniel's going to need some help getting through this one."

"I don't have a problem with the mental health profession. I only have a problem with one. And besides, if he doesn't remember any of it, how can he talk to anybody about it?" Jack wasn't letting Daniel get near Dr. Mackenzie again.

"Yes, Colonel, I know he said he doesn't remember, but even if that's true, it doesn't mean he *won't* remember, in time. The memories are there, sir, and they will come to the surface eventually." She hoped he knew what he could be getting himself into. 

~~~~~ 

Daniel wondered where everyone had taken off to. He hadn't seen Jack or Dr. Frazier either one for the past hour. He figured he would just take a walk by himself this time. He might even go down and find Teal'c or maybe even up top and get some fresh air. He had been able to get into the elevator twice in the past two days with Jack's help, without totally losing it. He knew that if he was going get out of here, he would have to get in that elevator. So if he prepared himself before getting in and stayed focused on his breathing he thought he could do it again. 

He just wanted to get his life back to normal. He wanted to sleep in his own bed, get back to work, go through the gate. He wanted to get his mind busy so he wouldn't think so much. He had asked Dr. Frazier again about getting out of here and she said she would try make a decision this afternoon. So now that's all he could think about, and he was restless.

He punched the elevator button to go down to Teal'c's room and see what he was up to. The elevator stopped, opened, and he took a deep breath and stepped inside. He tried to keep breathing and as the elevator finally came to a stop, the doors slid open and he rushed out quickly. He was glad to be out of there. He walked down the hall to Teal'c's door and knocked. He listened, knocked again. That's odd. Maybe they're all together. 

He started walking back toward the elevator when suddenly he felt something pressing hard around his head......squeezing......No!...........His hands flew up to his head...........but nothing was there. The long hallway started to shift and change making his dizzy............He closed his eyes and shook his head.......but when he opened them again the hall was covered in gold symbols. He heard the clanking of Jaffa marching closer.....closer........his hands went out to the wall to support himself. He tried to tell himself it couldn't be real..........but as his hands felt the walls he could feel the carved designs of the symbols. He felt a door handle and quickly opened it and rushed inside locking it behind him. He could still hear the clanking boots and he slid down to the floor in the corner and covered his ears as he rocked back and forth.

~~~~~

Dr. Frazier headed back to the infirmary from the briefing and saw that Dr. Jackson's bed was empty. Checking the bathrooms and showers she called Nurse Philips to go check out the labs and down the hall.

~~

The sounds of clanking had stopped and Daniel looked around, wondering where he was. His head still hurt and ......He slowly remembered how he came to be in here. // Whoa! What was that? Some kind of flashback or something? Awfully real though. He had to get back to the infirmary. He couldn't let anyone know what happened. Of course he wasn't sure himself what happened. But they wouldn't let him go home if they thought he wasn't okay. // 

He got up, unlocked the door, peeked out, and seeing no one there, slipped out and ran to the elevator. He punched the button and waited for it to come to him. The doors slid open and he hesitantly stepped inside hit the button and backed up to a wall as the doors slid shut. He wiped the sweat from his forehead and tried to make himself breathe the stuffy air. 

~~~~ 

"Daniel, where the heck have you been?" Jack had been looking for the missing patient for the past half hour. Something about Daniel seemed a little off.

"I just went for a walk........ that's all." 

"Well, good news. Frazier's letting you out of here."

"Are you serious? I can go home?"

"Well, I said you could get out of here. But I didn't exactly say you could go back home."

"What do you mean Jack?"

"Well, Frazier will release you, but you'll be staying at my place for awhile. Just until Hammond thinks it's safe for you to go back to your apartment."

Daniel stared at Jack. Well, he hadn't seen this one coming. He could either go home with Jack, or stay here in the infirmary.

~~~~~

Jack unlocked the front door and shoved it open with his foot as he carried the two suitcases inside and set them down. Daniel followed behind him quietly. 

"You know, Jack, I could've carried those," he said as his eyes glanced around the room.

"Daniel, have you noticed anything ....oh...I don't know.....different about your right hand?" Jack asked as he stared at the cast covering Daniel's right hand up to his elbow.

He stared at Jack and then the two suitcases. "I can still carry them, Jack." Daniel reached down with his good hand and picked up one of the suitcases and started toward the guest room.

Daniel went back to the living room and picked up the second suitcase. He took it back to his room and set it down by the other one. He sat down on the edge of the bed. He should just be glad he was out of the infirmary. He turned toward the nightstand, and stared at the bright numbers on the clock. 

"Daniel. You want some lunch?" Jack said as he stuck his head into the room. Not getting any response, he knocked lightly on the door. "Daniel?"

Daniel's jerked his head up as the voice startled him, seeing Jack staring at him from the doorway.

Jack stepped into the room, "You okay?"

Daniel forced a grin at Jack. "Sure...I'm fine. Why?"

"Lunch. I asked you if you wanted something to eat."

"Oh...uh...no, thanks Jack. Maybe later. I think I'll just lay down for awhile. Kind of tired." Daniel slid his left hand under his thigh not wanting him to see it trembling.

"Okay." Jack started to leave but stopped and turned back, "Listen, Daniel, I know you'd rather be at your own place but just try to make yourself at home, ok? I wouldn't have suggested to Hammond that you stay here if I didn't want you here."

Daniel nodded, "I know ......thanks Jack." 

~~~~~ 

Jack didn't feel good about leaving Daniel at his house while he went to the base but Sam said it was important and it would only be for a few hours. Daniel was still asleep when he'd left and he couldn't bear waking him. So he had taped a note on the bathroom mirror telling him where he had gone. The night before had been, I don't know, strange. Daniel had come to the table when he'd told him supper was ready, but he'd hardly touched his food. He got the feeling that the only reason he had even come to the kitchen and ate anything at all was because he didn't want to be rude. So maybe he would make sure they had six small meals a day instead of three bigger ones. If he could get him to eat a little six times a day......hey...whatever worked.

He met Teal'c at the elevator and they went down the next few floors together.

"Do you know what this is about, Teal'c?"

"I believe Major Carter has information concerning DanielJackson's abduction, O'Neill." 

They walked into the briefing room to see Sam and General Hammond already seated. Jack took his usual seat looking from Sam to the General. "What's this about General?"

"We're still waiting for.....ah. Dr. Frazier." the General said as Janet walked into the room and took a seat. 

"Major Carter has been able to retrieve some of the data from the computers brought back from the underground lab." General Hammond nodded at Sam. "Major?"

Sam stood up and stepped to the end of the long table and picked up the remote for the video screen.

"First, the folders you each have contain surveillance records. Locations, dates, times. Apparently Daniel had been under surveillance for at least a month before he was abducted. And, General, someone working inside the SGC was in on it. They were watching him here as well as at his apartment and when he was at Colonel O'Neill's house."

"Any idea who it might have been, Major?"

"No sir. So far, I haven't found any information about their identity, but I'll keep looking. Now, on page five it goes into detail about the day Daniel was abducted."

Jack turned to the page and started reading. They were watching the whole time he was there when he stopped in to get Daniel and take him fishing. He clenched his fist and stopped to stare at a blank part of the paper for just a second to keep his anger from boiling over. He cleared his throat, then started reading about the detailed plan to lure Daniel into their trap.

"General, these people most likely downloaded everything that appeared on the holographic screen and everything the cameras in the cell recorded. With your permission, sir?" 

"Proceed, Major."

Sam turned on the video screen. "I've only been able to retrieve a small portion of video so far. This is from when he was first brought to the underground lab."

The screen filled with an image of an unconscious Daniel lying on a steel table while a man held that device on Daniel's head. Another person pressed each disc into his skull and took the wand and moved it over each one, activating it.

Jack cringed as he watched every one of those four discs being put in Daniel's head. Been there, done that, way too many times. The briefing room was completely silent as they watched and listened as Daniel moaned, his eyes fluttering and then one of them injected a needle into his arm and he went limp.

Sam had already shown the tape to General Hammond, of course. But as she glanced around the room at Teal'c, Dr. Frazier, and Colonel O'Neill, she saw varying degrees of pain and anger in their faces. They continued to watch as two men, one holding under his arms and the other holding his legs carried the limp body with that device now attached, into the cell and dumped him on the floor.

The screen went black and Sam turned it off. 

General Hammond was actually relieved there wasn't more to see right then. By the looks of the people sitting around the table, it was going to be difficult on them all to see just what had happened to Dr. Jackson. He cleared his throat. He'd gotten a lump in it somehow even though he had already watched it once. "In case you were wondering. the three men shown on the video are the three who were captured and died mysteriously in their cells."

"Let me know when you have more to report, Major. You're dismissed."

~~~~~

The first thing Daniel noticed when he woke up was how really bad he needed to empty his bladder. The second thing was the smell of coffee.

He slowly got up and groggily stumbled to the bathroom. As he stood there taking care of business he saw the note taped on the mirror. Jack had gone to the base. Okay. Quiet house, all to myself. 

The first thing he needed was a shower, maybe it would help wash the cobwebs out of his head. He had to hand it to Dr. Frazier. The pills she'd prescribed sure did a good job of keeping the nightmares at bay. The bad thing was it left him fuzzy and groggy when he did wake up.

He turned the shower on and stood under the pulsating water. // Ahh that really feels good. Too bad they don't have these fancy showerheads in the SGC locker rooms. // He soaped up and stood there letting the water run over his head, down his back relaxing his tensed up muscles.

Suddenly he wasn't in the shower anymore. He was surrounded by water. Water that was alive. It pulled at him and he put his hands out to the wall in front of him to steady himself. He couldn't breathe. He tried to breathe deeper and faster but he still felt like he was drowning. He couldn't move his arms or legs to run. He was gasping for breath as the room dimmed and he was pulled under the blackness.

~~ 

Jack stuck the key in the door to unlock it, thinking about the things he had read in the folder and the video of Daniel. How they had been stalking Daniel for weeks, how they had prepared the cell. Padding the walls and floors and stripping it bare to reduce the chances of injury to the "subject."

It's probably a good thing he'd only have to see a little of this at a time. What he'd read and seen this morning had made him angry, made him sick. He needed to clear his head before he talked to Daniel. He opened the door and flung the keys on the table and went straight to the fridge to get a beer. He tossed the cap at the trash can and took a drink, noticing the coffee he had set the timer to make a half hour after he left sat untouched. He glanced down at his watch. He supposed Daniel could still be asleep. Those pills Doc Frazier had given him about knocked him out last night. But after a few of those nightmares had scared her staff so bad they didn't even want to work the night shift. She had prescribed them for him with warnings to take it easy with them.

Jack opened some soup cans and dumped them in a pan and set it on the stove to heat while he got out some bowls, spoons and crackers. That done, it was time to wake up sleepy head.

He walked back to the guest room and knocked. "Daniel, time to get up buddy. Lunch will be done in five minutes.....Daniel?" Jack turned the knob and opened the door to see an empty bed. The bathroom door was shut. He walked over to it and listened, hearing the shower running. He tapped on the door, "Daniel? Lunch in five minutes, okay?"

Jack cocked his head, not hearing a reply, but figured he probably couldn't hear him with the water running. Probably had his ears full of water, he grinned to himself and went back to the kitchen to start a new pot of coffee.

~~ 

Jack laid the unopened mail back down on the table. His stomach growled. What the devil is taking that boy so long? He got up and went back to the guest room, and then on through to the bathroom. He stood and put his ear closer listening. // He's still taking a shower? // 

"Daniel? You ever gonna be done in there? Foods getting cold." He put his ear closer to the door and still heard nothing but water running. "Daniel, I'm coming in. You better be decent." 

He turned the doorknob and slowly peeked into the room. The shower was running but no one was standing there. He looked down and saw a foot sticking out under the curtain. He rushed over and yanked it open.

"Crap.......Daniel!" He turned off the freezing water that was slowly swirling down the drain mixed with bright red blood. He reached under his arms and pulled him out of the shower stall and into the bedroom, laying him back down on the carpet. He ran back in and grabbed a couple of towels and knelt down on the floor beside him.

"Daniel! Can you hear me? Open your eyes!" 

He wiped away some of the blood on the side of Daniel's head to see how bad it was. It was still bleeding too much to see, so he pressed the towel against Daniel's head and held it there. He heard a low moan.

"Daniel! Come on...open your eyes." 

He could feel the cold emanating from the pale figure on the floor. He lifted the towel seeing that the bleeding had slowed down, and tried to see how bad it was cut. It was only about an inch long but it was still hard to see how deep. He left the towel in place and reached over and got another towel and started drying him off the best he could. He jumped up and grabbed the blanket off the bed and draped it over the shivering body.

He leaned down and tapped his cheeks. "Daniel! Come on Danny, look at me."

Daniel's eyes slowly opened and met Jack's.

"Jack?" 

"Yeah, buddy, gotta get you warmed up. You're freezing." 

"What happened?" Daniel tried to sit up but Jack's hand against his chest stopped him. 

"Don't try to get up. You hit your head. The bleedings slowed down but I need to get you to Frazier to have a look at it. It might need stitches."

"No!...Jack. I'm okay. Don't take me back there, Jack, please." Daniel struggled to get up.

"Listen to me Daniel. You must have hit your head pretty hard. You might have a concussion." It's not like he wanted to take Daniel back there but man that was a lot of blood.

Jack reached into his pocket and got out his cell phone and dialed the SGC. Getting through to Frazier he started telling her about Daniel. "Dr. Frazier wants to know how you hit your head. Did you get dizzy or something before?"

"The floor was slippery and I just fell and hit my head, that's all." Daniel said nervously. 

Jack went back to talking to Janet. "She wants to know if you're dizzy or nauseous right now."

"No and no."

Jack moved the towel some to peer closer to it, then was back on the phone. 

Jack pushed the off button and turned to Daniel, "Okay, here's the deal. The bleeding has stopped, but if you get even a tiny bit dizzy or sick you'll let me know, right? She wants me to wake you up every hour and she wants to see you first thing in the morning."

Jack stood up and went to the dresser and got a pair of sweats, boxers and a t-shirt. and laid them on the bed. "All right. Let me help you up." He helped Daniel to his feet and steered him over to the bed. "Can you get those on by yourself?"

"I've been dressing myself since I was four, Jack."

"Good. Don't move. I'll get the first aid kit."

Daniel took the towel and rubbed at his face, then put his feet in the boxers, stood up swaying a little, and pulled them up just in time before he sat quickly back down on the bed. He pulled the sweats on over his feet, stood up again. As he did the room spun and his legs buckled. 

Jack came into the room just as he saw Daniel start to go down and quickly caught him and eased him back down on the bed. "Whoa, easy, Thought I told you not to move."

Daniel picked up the t-shirt to put on. 

"Wait. Let me take care of that hard head of yours first." 

Jack got out the antiseptic and picked up a towel and laid it next to Daniel's head while he poured the cool liquid over the wound.

"Ow! That hurts worse than the cut, Jack." Daniel winced as Jack dabbed at the cut, cleaning it as best he could.

Jack took a gauze pad and laid it against his head and told Daniel to hold it. Then he took the roll of gauze and started wrapping it around the pad and his head. 

Jack picked up the t-shirt and put the opening over Daniel's head so it wouldn't rub on the cut. "Now you can put it on."

Daniel put his arms through the shirt, still trembling slightly.

"Thanks." Daniel looked at him shyly.

" I'll go get your soup. It'll help warm you up. Do we know what 'stay there' means?"

Daniel waved toward the door and nodded, watching as Jack left the room then looked around worriedly. // 'what's happening to me?'// He could faintly hear Jack's voice in the other room talking to someone.

~~

Jack had let Daniel eat some soup, but then had put some shoes on his feet and wrapped a blanket around him and steered him reluctantly out to the truck and taken him back to the SGC to see Frazier. She was willing to wait till morning unless he was dizzy or nauseous but since he'd almost collapsed on him he wasn't gonna take the chance of something seriously wrong. She ran some tests and after she was satisfied that he hadn't done any serious harm had let Jack take him back home. 

They spent the next few days painting Jack's deck. Well. Jack painted, Daniel watched. He'd tried painting left-handed but Jack had laughed so hard at his attempts which then got Daniel laughing too. They had rolled on the grass clutching their aching middles until they were sore. 

They didn't set any alarm clocks, no appointments, no pressures. Just sliding that brush back and forth along the smooth wood. Amazing how relaxing it was. Daniel felt better than he had in awhile, even if he could just watch.

Most nights they would just sit out in the back yard, since the deck had to dry, and make up stories about constellations that only they could see. Like a couple of kids looking at the sky full of clouds and letting their imagination find shapes in the stars.

Sam had been over the day before bringing donuts and coffee early in the morning before she headed to the mountain to work on the computer data. She had hit a snag after downloading the first bunch of files and had to reformat everything again before she could get more information out of it.

General Hammond had been good about letting Jack take a few days off. After the events of the last few weeks, Jack just wanted to be there for his friend and actually he'd needed the time himself more than he'd realized. It felt good to not have to worry about being zatted, or shot, or turned young or turned old,....just hanging out being average, being normal.

He was relieved to see how Daniel had come out of this horrible ordeal apparently unscathed. He was supposed to bring Daniel in to Frazier in a couple of days so they could x-ray his hand to see if it was healing properly. After that he would hopefully have the cast off for good soon. He hoped so, for Daniel's sake. It took him a good half-hour to get dressed. Jack had offered to help button the shirts he wore but he was adamant about doing it himself. He'd finally this morning abandoned the button-up shirts and opted for t-shirts until the cast came off. Daniel wanted to get back to work at least a few hours a day. Frazier said she would at least think it over after his next exam. 

When Jack got out of the shower he saw that Daniel had left him a note telling him that he'd gone for a walk and that he'd be back within an hour. It had been almost two and he was sitting there trying to decide whether to go looking for him on foot or take the truck. // He's probably just found some stuff to explore and lost track of time. Wouldn't be the first time. Okay, that's it // Jack grabbed the keys to the truck and was out the door, leaving the house unlocked in case Daniel came back before he did.

~~

Daniel walked into the house and went straight to the bedroom and slammed the door. He sat down on the bed and wrapped his arms around himself trying to stop the shaking of his hands. He has no idea what had happened except that one minute he was walking down the sidewalk and the next he was being chased. By what he couldn't remember. He'd ran until his legs were shaking so bad that he had ducked behind some bushes and hid until his head had cleared enough for him to make his way home. He was exhausted and finally laid down on the bed.

~~ 

Jack rushed into the house looking around for him. He'd come back to see if Daniel had made it back here while he was out driving around trying to spot him and when he had gotten home the front door was standing wide open. Now either Daniel was here or a burglar, and he doubted a burglar would be dumb enough to leave the front door open while they made off with his stuff. 

Not seeing him in the front rooms he headed back to the guest room. The door was shut and he turned the knob and swung open the door, stopping in his tracks. 

He breathed a sigh of relief that Daniel was here. He quietly walked over to the bed and looked down at him. He really didn't look well. The anguished look on his face revealing the distress he couldn't escape even in his sleep.

Jack pulled the spread up over him and stepped out of the room to let him sleep.He guessed he'd have to wait until morning to find out why Daniel had been gone so long. At least he's okay. He went over to the sofa, sat down with the remote and found an old movie. He didn't really care what was on. He just needed the distraction.

~~~~~ 

Daniel's last x-ray looked good. Another week and they would x-ray it again and if it was still healing as expected the cast would come off. They'd had another briefing but he had brought Daniel with him and left him in his office to look at some artifacts that had been brought back just this morning. The last several days had been almost surreal. It felt so good to just hang out with a good friend. Painting the deck, laughing till their sides ached, talking about stuff he'd never talk about with anyone else. He hadn't realized just how much he'd missed Daniel. 

Carter had more stuff she wanted them to see. Today's briefing had been hard to sit through, for all of them. To see and hear Daniel talking to people. Then all of a sudden he would scream even though you could tell that his voice was already strained from days and days of abuse. They had seen him hitting the cell bars with his hands until they bled. Dr. Frazier told them that evidently that's when he'd broken his hand. He had a strong stomach, but this was his closest friend. When the video had shown Daniel screaming Jack's name over and over again, he had left the room. He'd been told that General Hammond had dismissed them and told them they would meet again tomorrow. 

He stopped by the infirmary to pick up Daniel's meds before he retrieved Daniel from his office and they head home. Daniel hadn't had but a couple of nightmares since he'd been released from the infirmary, so the meds must be helping. He seemed to be sleepy a lot more than usual but with what he'd been through, he deserved some extra rest. The latest information that Sam had gotten out of that computer system had almost made him sick. If he ever got his hands on that rat bas......."

"Colonel. Here's Dr. Jackson's medicine." Janet handed the bottle to Jack, noticing he looked a little...well..scary actually. "Are you all right Colonel?" she asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

The man didn't look fine five seconds ago but now he had put his tough Colonel mask back on. "How are things going with Daniel?"

"He's doing good. Better than I thought he would as a matter of fact. The more stuff Carter shows us.....I always knew he was tough but .......well you know."

"Colonel, you of all people should know that a traumatic experience such as the one Daniel's been through can affect a person days, months, even years later. I know Daniel appears to be doing fine on the outside. Just don't let that blind you to what could be simmering just below the surface." 

"Sure, I know that doc. I'll keep an eye on him." 

~~~~~ 

How could he have been so blind? 

Jack was out here running through the field and forest behind the house. Lungs are burning from the exertion. The knees aching from the pounding. Old knees weren't made to chase after young archaeologists, especially those who could run like a bat out of hell.

Everything had seemed fine. One minute they were joking around, and the next minute he looked over at Daniel and he was as white as a sheet, backing away from some unseen something that was obviously scaring the crap out him. Just as he said his name and started toward him, he bolted. And so, there they were probably a couple of miles from the house.

Jack stopped to listen. If there's one thing he was good at, it was how to sneak up on the enemy. If he hadn't learned that early on in Black Ops he would have been dead a hundred times over. But it came in handy to sneak up on friends who were freaking out too. He cocked his head, stepping slowly and silently through the trees.

He finally heard something. A rustling off to his right. He stealthily made his way closer and closer to the sound of breathing. Panicked breathing, and muffled sobs. 

He slipped over to the tree where the sound came from and saw him. Daniel was sitting on the ground his arms wrapped around himself looking like someone who was caught in a nightmare they couldn't wake up from. The kid was terrified. He didn't want to spook him or he'd bolt again.

Jack slowly made his way closer and closer then he tossed a rock over to the left and as soon as Daniel whipped his head in the other direction and focused his attention on that noise, he had him. He wrapped his arms around Daniel's, pinning his arms so he couldn't throw a punch at Jack and couldn't get away. He held him as he struggled and pleaded for him to let him go. Jack held on until they were both exhausted. Finally Daniel stopped struggling and his eyes looked at Jack like he'd just realized he was there.

"Jack? What's goin on?" he said as he looked around at the unfamiliar surroundings. 

"It's okay, Daniel. Let's go home. Okay?" 

Daniel nodded and looked at Jack with eyes that reminded Jack of one thing. His own eyes when he'd returned from that Iraqi prison. Daniel was shivering and Jack got up and took off his jacket, reached an arm down to help him up and wrapped the jacket around Daniel's trembling body. 

He put his arms around Daniel's shoulders and guided him out of the woods to the field where he could just make out his house a mile away.

~~~~~

He had Daniel sitting on the sofa with a blanket wrapped around him. Next, a cup of coffee and maybe he'd get him warmed up. 

Jack sat down on the coffee table directly in front of him. "Daniel. You want to tell me what happened ?" 

Daniel looked so scared that it even frightened Jack. Okay he was gonna have to ease into this.

"Daniel, Do you trust me?"

Daniel's eyes looked into Jacks, "Yes."

"Then, you've gotta tell me what happened?" Jack could see the complete trust in those eyes but also the struggle he was having in baring his soul, even to him.

"Flashbacks....... or something......I'm not sure what they are." Daniel looked so lost.

"How long have you had them. These flashbacks?"

"They started when I got back."

"Back from where?"

Daniel didn't want to talk about that place. Didn't want to think about that place. Didn't want to remember. He looked up at Jack with so much pain, that Jack knew where he was talking about.

"I'm...........I'm scared, Jack."

Jack rubbed his hair roughly with his hand, "Daniel, Dr. Frazier really should check you out."

"No!....you know what she'll do. I'll be back in that padded room pumped full of drugs with Mackenzie. I can't go through that again, Jack. Please."

Jack got up and walked over to the window. Although it was now almost dark and he couldn't see much. He needed to think without Daniel watching him. He finally turned around and came back and sat down on the coffee table facing Daniel again.

"Okay, listen. What I should do right now is haul your butt back to the infirmary. Ah Ah Ah...wait ... just listen okay?...That's what I should do. It's not what I'm going to do. I won't say anything to Frazier, For now. I understand why you can't talk to Mackenzie, but you are going to talk to me. And if these flashbacks don't stop, you're gonna have to go to Frazier, understand?"

Daniel slowly nodded.

"Daniel. I'm just trying to help you. You're part of SG-1 and we need you back. I need you back." Jack put his hand on Daniel's shoulder." You with me on this?"

"Yeah....okay........Jack." 

~~~~~ 

It was good to be back at work. At least he could keep his mind from wandering off to places he didn't want to be. He turned the dusty tablet over to see what symbols there were on the other side when he saw movement out of the corner of his eye.

Daniel tried to ignore the fact that Jack was standing in the doorway checking up on him ........again. He kept transferring the symbols on the tablet to the notebook laying open on his desk, which was hard since he could only use his left hand.

"What do you need, Jack?" he asked without looking up from his work.

Jack moseyed into the room and took a seat across from Daniel.

"Whatcha doin'?" he asked as he picked up an old dirty bowl and started turning it over and over in his hands.

Daniel plucked the artifact from Jack and set it on the other end of the table.

"What?" Jack asked staring at his suddenly empty hands. "It's a bowl." 

"Actually it's a 2000 year old Blue Lotus vessel."

"Okay. So it's an old bowl." 

Daniel finally lay the tablet and his pencil down and looked at Jack. "What do you need, Jack?" 

"Want to go eat lunch?"

"No, I can't right now, I'm trying to get these artifacts tagged and cataloged. Do you have any idea how hard it is to write with your left hand?" 

Jack reached across and laid his hand on Daniel's arm stopping him from writing. "Daniel, there aren't enough rocks on earth...and...."Jack waved his hand up in the air, "...out there, to keep your mind from thinking about it. When the memories start coming back, don't spend all this energy pushing them away."

Daniel lifted his eyes to meet Jacks. "I really don't think I'm going to remember anything about ....that place."

"Do you want to remember?"

"No.....not really."

~~~~~~~

"Teal'c, didn't you say Carter was coming down?"

"Yes she did, O'Neill, as soon as she changed into her "power clothes".

Jack stared at Teal'c, trying to decide if he was telling the truth or making a joke. It was just so hard to tell with him. "Power clothes? She actually said "power clothes"? Jack asked him.

"Indeed, she did."

Jack and Daniel exchanged looks. "Well. Can't wait to see that. I think. How ya doin over there Daniel?" 

Daniel looked up and gave Jack his 'you've got to be kidding' look, as he lifted the weight with his left hand. 

"At least I'll have muscles in one arm, Jack" he lay the weight down and stared at Jack.. "I don't know why I had to come down here when all I can do is lift weights one armed."

Just then Sam came into the room carrying her towel. "Sorry I'm late." She walked over to Daniel. "How ya doin, Daniel?" she asked him as she sat down on the bench beside him.

"I'm fine number 16." Daniel told her. He stood up and walked over and picked up his bottle of water, taking a long drink.

"Number 16 what? What are you talking about?" She asked curiously. 

"The sixteenth time today I've been asked how I am."

"Oh. Sorry. Well, actually I'm not sorry for asking you , just sorry that I'm number sixteen. You've been here at the base all day. I should have at least been in the first five." She tried to lighten his mood. He seemed a little more irritable than usual.

Sam looked around the gym trying to decide what she wanted to work on today. There was just SG-1 and two guys from SG-7. She decided on the leg weight machine but first went up to Colonel O'Neill and quietly asked him, " Does Daniel seem okay to you ?"

Jack looked behind her at Daniel who was still lifting the weight." He looks fine to me, Carter." Jack looked closely at Sam, "Does he not seem fine to you, Major?"

"I don't know, sir, He just seems a little more tense or something. It's probably nothing." She turned and stepped over to the bench and started pushing the weights.

Jack lay down on the bench and grabbed the weights off of the bar and lifted it up then back down. Up then back down. Up.....he glanced over at Daniel again.... .....He was just sitting and trembling, staring with that 'look' on his face. The deer caught in the headlights look. "Crap!"

He set the weight back up on the bar and sat up, looking over at Daniel again. He could tell from here that Daniel was on the verge of losing it again. He got up walked over to Teal'c, nodded toward Daniel, and keeping his voice low said, "Teal'c get SG-7 out of here."

Teal'c nodding his understanding, went over to Capt. Richardson and Lt. White. Planting his massive body directly in front of them said, "You will leave now. " He said it with a smile but the kind of smile that has a underlying scariness to it. The men looked at one another and then at Teal'c as he motioned toward the door. They decided not to argue with him and left the room. 

"Teal'c, don't let anyone in here." Teal'c went to the door, locked it and stood guard.

Sam had noticed something odd going on with the Colonel, but it wasn't until he'd walked over to Daniel that she knew what. Daniel looked awful. He was pale and breathing fast but trying to get himself under control. She could tell it wasn't working.

Jack very slowly came into Daniel's line of vision and knelt down a few feet away so he could see his eyes. 

"Daniel?" He didn't get any response from the frightened man, except his eyes suddenly started darting around the room.

Jack came a little closer, and Daniel bolted and ran for the door, running right into Teal'c. Teal'c stopped him from getting to the door, but then Daniel ran to the other wall and started moving down the room, feeling along the wall frantically searching for a way out. Jack could hear his panicky breathing from where he stood. Jack started walking slowly down the length of the room keeping several feet back not wanting to frighten him any further. 

"Daniel.....Look around the room. Where are you Daniel?" Jack followed Daniel, carefully keeping his distance, trying to get him back in the present.

"Daniel.....it's Jack........tell me where you are right now."

Daniel turned around hearing a voice. But he was hearing lots of voices. He put his hands over his ears. "NOOOOOOOOO.......Stop!........" He collapsed on the floor with his arms trying to wrap around his head protectively. "No. .No.. please...get it off, get it off !"

Jack was at his side in an instant, wrapping his arms around the frightened young man, trying to keep him from hurting himself. "Daniel....it's Jack..." He motioned for Sam and Teal'c to give them some space and they backed over to the door and stood.

Jack held onto Daniel's struggling body as he tried to get out of Jack's grasp. Jack kept talking to him, telling him over and over who he was, where he was. Suddenly Daniel broke free and Jack grabbed his legs before he could get far. Daniel fell back on the mat and Jack jumped on him holding his arms down on the mat above his head.

"Carter get his arms, Careful with the cast."

"Teal'c.... legs." Daniel was finally immobilized so he couldn't move, and Jack leaned closer to Daniel's face trying to get through to him.

"Daniel...look at me.............No, don't...come on......Look at me Daniel............ Who am I ?...See my face?...............It's Jack......Can you see me Danny? ......... Relax...come on......................... Nooo.....................stay with me Daniel........... ...you've got to breathe slower Danny...come on....In..........out........... in............. out ......... that's good....nice and slow....good job."

Somebody pounded on the locked door and Daniel jerked out of Sam's grasp and came close to knocking Jack out with the cast. Jack grabbed the arm with the cast and Sam got the other one as once more he was pinned to the floor. Jack leaned down closer to Daniel's face trying to get him to look at him.

Daniel?.......look at me...........yeah......you're at the SGC..........we're in the exercise room remember?.... See the bike?....the weights?.......come on Daniel.... Stay with me.........Okay..........I know you're scared but I'm right here Daniel... We can get through this.......its okay...its okay. 

Daniel's rapid breathing was slowly being replaced by sobs. Jack got off of Daniel sat beside him keeping his hand firmly on his shoulder.

"Sorry Jack, I'm sorry....... Please make it stop, Jack."

Jack felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest as he heard the pain in Daniel's voice. Daniel lay limply on the floor sobbing as exhaustion overtook him and his eyes started to close. 

The sound of a key in the door and then it being opened got their attention as Dr. Frazier came into the room followed closely by a medic and General Hammond.

Dr. Frazier stepped up to Jack looking down at him.

"Colonel?"

"It's Daniel. He's better but you'll want to check him out."

Janet knelt beside Daniel, noticing the pale, sweat covered face. His eyes were closed but he opened them and looked at her with anguish filled eyes. She reached for his left hand glancing up at the Colonel. Jack held Daniel's left hand out toward her and she proceeded to check his pulse. 

"What happened, Colonel?" Janet said as she continued to scan him with her eyes looking for injuries.

Jack rubbed his eyes with his free hand. "A flashback or something."

"I need to get him to the infirmary, Colonel." She said gently, seeing that Jack hadn't let go of Daniel at all while she tried to examine him.

"Oh. Yeah sure. Teal'c. Help me get him up." 

Teal'c came over and picked up Daniel effortlessly, then faced Dr. Frazier, waiting for her lead. They exchanged glances and then Teal'c walked out of the room following Dr. Frazier down to the infirmary. 

~~~~~

Daniel opened his eyes.....in the infirmary. The last place he wanted to be. Well, second to the last, after a padded room. Any padded room.

"How are you feeling Daniel?" Janet spoke softly trying not to wake the Colonel who had fallen asleep in the nearby bed.

"I'm fine."

"Daniel. If you want me to help you, you're going to have to tell me how you're feeling." she waited for a reply.

"I'm really tired, Dr. Frazier." Daniel said as he closed his eyes ending her questions. 

~~~~~

Sam sat in her office watching the papers being spit out one by one from the machine. She glanced down at her watch, she had about an hour until the briefing. She started getting the papers together into folders. She skimmed through them so she could separate what was most pertinent from the trivial. As she read one of the pages, a schematic of the memory device and discs, there was something that caught her eye.

Each of the four discs that attached to the skull which held the device in place, had three filaments each, except for one. "That's odd." she didn't know why but seeing the diagrams left her feeling like she was missing something important.

She had been expecting her Dad to return any day now. After they had worked together on getting the device deactivated he had left for some top secret mission, but was supposed to return as soon as he could get away. She really needed for him to take a look at this.

~~~~~

"It's your move, Daniel."

"Oh......um.....right"

"You okay?" 

"Sure, Jack. I just love it here. Wonderful view, TV," He waved his arm around the room then pointed to the heart monitor, "nice bed, great food. What more could I want?" Daniel said sarcastically.

"I tried to keep you out of here, ya know?"

"I know...I'm sorry Jack. I just want it to be over. I want my life back." Daniel felt like ever since he'd been kidnapped, his life had been turned upside down.

"We'll get through this, Daniel."

"Checkmate"

"It looks like some things are back to normal." Jack said as he started clearing away the evidence of another win by Daniel. "Two out of three?"

"Sure, I can beat you twice, if you'd like." Daniel grinned.

Dr. Frazier walked up to the chess game going on. "Colonel, General Hammond wants to see you in the briefing room." She didn't tell him that the General wanted her there too or that he wanted them there immediately. She didn't want to worry Daniel.

~~~~~

General Hammond watched Dr. Frazier and Colonel O'Neill take their seats. "Selmak got here a few hours ago and has been looking at some diagrams of the device. What do you have to report?"

"I've studied the diagrams and there is a fourth filament in one of the discs. It has its own sophisticated power source. If the main device is removed before being deactivated, it detaches itself from the disc and remains in the person's skull. Its purpose is most likely to damage or kill the person trying to take it off. 

"Selmak," Janet said, " Sam and you did deactivate it."

"Yes we did, Janet, but not until Dr. Greenely had already completely removed one of the discs surgically. After that Daniel went into convulsions, and only after that did we get the correct frequency that deactivated it."

"But we did an MRI of Dr. Jackson after the device was off and found nothing unusual."

"Dr. Frazier, I'm not sure you understand. This fourth filament had its own power and its own shield. It wouldn't show up on any conventional X-ray or your MRI."

Janet looked from Selmak to Sam, who confirmed what he had said. "So we may not have gotten it all." 

Selmak let Jacob speak, "Janet, it's imperative that your doctors remove this as soon as possible. Leaving one of these filaments in place for very long could cause permanent damage."

Janets eyes grew large as the implications became clearer that Daniel was still at great risk. "I'll get Dr. Greenely here as soon as possible, sir." she said to General Hammond.

"Very well, Doctor. By the way how is Dr. Jackson."General Hammond had been very concerned about the boy.

"He's resting comfortably in the infirmary sir. Physically he seems fine. And he hasn't had any flash......" Janet had a thought, "Selmak, could one of these filaments cause very vivid flashbacks if left in very long?"

"It is possible." Selmak replied.

~~~~~

Daniel had been listening to Jack but he couldn't believe it could be that simple. "So, what you're saying is that these flashbacks I've had could be caused by a small part of that device still in my head?" 

"Yeah, that's what Jacob thinks.

"So this Dr. Greenely is going to do brain surgery on me or something?" Daniel said nervously.

"Frazier and Selmak looked at the diagrams. They don't think it will be very difficult to get it out. And then hopefully the flashbacks will stop. For good."

Do you have any idea how relieved I am, Jack?"

Jack patted his shoulder, "Oh, I think I do, Daniel."

~~~~~

Two months later 

Sometimes you have to hit the bottom before you can look up. I had heard that my whole life. Maybe because to other people it looked like he had hit the bottom quite a few times. Actually, as rough as things were after his parents died, and after he was laughed right out of his profession and left with literally the clothes on his back and one suitcase. Even as low as he'd felt when Sha're was taken by a goa'uld and again when Teal'c killed her with a staff blast to her chest right before his eyes. Each of those times he'd felt as if his heart had shattered. But this. What those people had done to him was worse than any one of them. Because the memory device had pulled all the pain out of him from every time his heart had shattered and amplified it. Over and over. He always felt safer when he was in control of his mind, his body, his life. But they had taken all his control away. He honestly couldn't remember what had happened in that cell after he'd come back. He didn't want to remember. Even thinking about thinking about it, scared him. 

The past two months have been hard work. He knew if he had one of those flashbacks in the wrong place at the wrong time and Frazier got wind of it he was screwed. He just knew she'd have no choice but to ship me off to a padded room and Mackenzie with his arsenal of drugs. But she didn't. She had a friend whose husband had been working with victims of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for several years and had some innovative and successful ways of treating it. He's continued staying at Jack's and had gone in every day to the psychiatrist's office to talk to him. He was nothing like Mackenzie. He didn't like pumping people full of drugs and thought locking a person up like an animal was barbaric. 

I like him. He's okay. He probably saved my life. Of course there were a lot of times I hated his guts. When he pushed me to talk, pushed me to remember, pushed me to feel. Even though it hurt like H***. 

And Jack. What can I say about him without my throat closing up and my eyes getting teary. The man is my very best friend in the world or other worlds too for that matter. He's always been there when I needed him, and even when I don't know I need him. It's scary sometimes to think that I have a friend like that. Me? Jack even let his own walls down a bit and talked about his ordeal after he escaped the Iraqi prison, just to help me.

Sam has been wonderful. Coming to see me, always bringing a surprise of some sort. She had the awful job of getting all that stuff from their computers out so they could find out what had happened to me and I've looked at some of them, but only in Dr. Benowitz's office. He helped me face it, face them. Let me know it was okay to be angry at them for what they did. Teal'c has also been a strong presence through it all. I'd like to think we're all a lot closer after going through hell and back together. 

One more week of relaxation and Hammond is sending the four of us through the gate again. It feels like forever since we went on a mission together. I for one am nervous but eager to get on with my life. It feels like it's been on hold for months.

Daniel lay the pen down in the journal and looked over at Jack. He had on his sunglasses like always so he couldn't see his eyes but from the relaxed grip on the fishing pole he was definitely asleep 

Daniel lifted the mug of coffee and took a drink looking out on the lake. The sun was shining on the water just right so that it looked like shimmering glass. Sam and Teal'c had run back into the small town grocer to get some steaks Jack wanted to grill for supper. They sure weren't gonna be eating any fish. Not out of this lake anyway. He grinned to himself, wondering if the same man would be at the store that Teal'c had spoken to the last time him and Jack had come here to fish. He'd told Teal'c there hadn't been any fish in this lake for years. 

How could someone keep fishing in the same lake and never catch anything? Daniel looked over at his sleeping friend. A person would have to have an awful lot of hope and faith, that maybe this time......

Jack, Sam, Teal'c, they were family. No...better than family. You can't always choose your family, but they were together because they wanted to be. He looked back at the lake as a tear trickled down his cheek. He wasn't sad. Just the opposite. He felt like the happiest person on earth.

Fin. 

A friend is someone who helps   
you to fly when your wings are broken.

  


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> Authors note: Thanks to my beta, Lenya, for her creativity, her patience, and   
> for our mutual love of Stargate SG-1.

* * *

> © October 2004 Stargate, unfortunately, isn't mine. Do I get paid for this? Ha   
> Ha, good one.   
> 

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End file.
